Who Your Real Friends Are … Would YOU do this? 12

Yesterday, I went to an event.

Some people were happy and others were definitely not.

The event promoter put a ton of money and effort into putting on a great event, but instead of the big event he was planning, the event turned out to be very small.

Some people were understandably upset.  Speakers had traveled at significant expense to attend the  event expecting to speak to 800 or more people.

The stage was beautifully set, a six person video crew was on hand to tape the event, there were 800 chairs in place and …

People didn’t show up.

Well … some people showed up, but probably less than 5% of the people who were expected.

This is a painful situation for everyone.

And it’s when you find out who your friends are.

Imagine the first day of the event. The event promoter has poured countless hours and dollars into the event, the speakers have flown across the country or in some cases halfway around the world to be there and there are empty chairs everywhere.

If you are the promoter or one of the speakers at first you are in shock. Then you go through all of the stages of grief …  Rapidly.

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

Well maybe anger hangs around a while and acceptance takes a little longer to get around to.

And you make a choice.

Some of the speakers chose to cut their losses.

When they heard about the low attendance they canceled flights and decided not to show up — after all they weren’t given what they were promised.

Others, decided to meet their contractual obligations.

Others chipped in and did double work to make up for people who didn’t show up.

Some speakers urged the promoter to cut his losses and cancel the event, but he decided to put the event on for the people who did show up.

And twenty or thirty people had a great weekend experience with some world-class speakers.

I was talking to the event promoter and considering the circumstances he seemed to be hanging in there.

I told him ..

“At least you know who your friends are.”

When things get really tough for everyone, you quickly discover who is really there for you.

We all have failures and lots of times things don’t work out the way we plan.  Friends help us get through that.

When I do live events, for a brief moment in time I’m privileged to be the focus of many people’s attention.

Lots of people come up to me and say …

“Ken, if I can ever do anything for you, just let me know.”

For the most part, I thank them and we go on with life.  Thousands SAY they will do something for you and the actual friends who do something is  much lower.

The number who will do something for you expecting NOTHING in return is MUCH lower.

That’s completely understandable.

We are all busy and EVERYONE has hundreds if not thousands of people who we would like to help … and only so much time or so many resources to share.


Bing Crosby said this about his relationship with Bob Hope:

“There is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me … We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.”
– Bing Crosby

That’s the way most of us are with our friends.

Right now, I’m in the middle of launching the beta for Tobri and like a thousand of your other friends, acquaintances and loved ones … I could use some help.

I need to quickly get the word out to people about Tobri and I know that MANY of my friends could tell thousands if not tens of thousands of people in an instant.

ALL of my friends know someone who they could invite.


Don’t get me wrong, they could!

Tobri is NOT about internet marketing.  It’s about connections.

It’s for anyone who wants to make great connections or just stay in contact with you.

People can create their own groups, events, play games and just enjoy the wonderful community.

It doesn’t cost Tobri beta members anything to join or spread the word.


If all of my friends told just the people on their mailing lists about Tobri today, there would be a million users on the Tobri Beta today.

Wouldn’t that be something?

It won’t happen.

Heck, if just the people who told me to let them know if they could do anything for me would just send out a mailing today, I’d have tens of thousands of people on Tobri by the end of the day.

It won’t happen.

Now for all of you POSITIVE thinkers, (like me) who are about to write me and tell me I’m not  thinking positively enough ….

I know SOME of you will.

Actually, I’ll probably know exactly who does, because I’ve set up a Google Alert on the word Tobri, and I see most of the results when people talk about Tobri on their blogs, on Twitter, Facebook or in their newsletters.


Here’s where the interesting part comes in …

Today, at this moment there is NOTHING in it for you.

We are setting up an affiliate program that will be focused on selling Business memberships, but most of the people we are looking for right now to make up the Tobri Community aren’t going to buy a business membership — because they aren’t in

Most people in Facebook or on Twitter aren’t buying business premium services and most of the people in Tobri won’t be either.

Tobri isn’t an Internet marketing site.  It’s a social network and amazing connection engine.

So right now we just need ordinary PEOPLE.

Soon we will target businesses and give you opportunities to make money from that and Tobri is certainly a great place to find customers, clients, friends and to gain credibility and visibility.


How many people would you be willing to invite to Tobri? — for nothing — just based on our relationship.

I’m talking about sending out a simple message like:


Hi (FirstName),

Ken McArthur has a new beta site for graphing

and making great connections that I’m really

loving.  Check out the video and connect with

me there.  I really want you in my network!


It doesn’t cost a cent and there are some amazing

people in there.  Lots of buzz on this one!




Would you send it out to a hundred, a thousand, a hundred thousand?

Don’t worry.  If you don’t do it, I don’t blame you at all!

I’m not expecting anything and I’m not going to think less of you if you do nothing or if you only know two people in the world.

If it makes you feel any better, if you DON’T tell anyone about Tobri you’ll DEFINITELY be in the  majority.

Because most people won’t do anything.

And even LESS people will do something if there is nothing in it for them.

I’m really writing this to a very select minority of people who have come up to me over the course of years and years of being together and said, “If there is ever anything I can do for you …” — and meant it.

If that’s you, I don’t care if you mail to 100,000 or one person, I’d just love to know that you did.


  1. Because, I want Tobri to be a success for all of the many people who have invested their time money and dreams into making it something special and …
  2. Because, I love the idea that when the time comes your real friends will do something for nothing.

Whether it’s me or anyone of the thousands of people who need you right now.  Do something for nothing for someone today.

All the best,

Ken McArthur

P.S. If you DO send out the word about Tobri, would you please let me know about how many people you’ve spread the word to, because I’d like to get an idea of the scope of our impact as a group!

P.P.S. Also spread the word about jvAlert Live September 24th- 26th ….


Send me an e-mail and let me know that you are definitely coming!

Hotel Reservations need to be in right now!


Every time people procrastinate and lose out, so don’t be one of them.  Get registered today.

About Ken McArthur

Ken challenges us to realize we ALL have an impact – whether we want to or not – on thousands of people who we touch in our day-to-day lives by demonstrating that simple things make a HUGE difference. The popular host of a series of live events that bring together top-level marketers, entrepreneurs, business owners, corporations and non-profit organizations to create multi-million dollar joint venture relationships – he creates incredible, intense impact for product launches and multi-million dollar profits in surprisingly short timeframes. Regularly asked to speak at leading marketing events, he has managed product launches ranked in the top 400 sites on the Internet. Ken McArthur is also the creator of AffiliateShowcase.com, a pioneering affiliate program search engine and directory system and the founder of the MBS Internet Research Center, which conducted the world’s largest survey ever attempted on the subject of creating and launching successful information products. Not satisfied to concentrate entirely on large organizations, Ken also works with select individuals to help them create a decent living utilizing the power of the Internet. Ken was the official mentor for Sterling Valentine as he took his launch from ZERO to over $100,000 in less than 8 days. Ken and Sterling documented the process as a “proof of concept” for Info Product Blueprint a massive home study course that is the “bible” of info product creation. Ken offers top-level coaching and mentoring programs designed to help individuals, corporations and non-profit organizations reach masses of people using the techniques, tactics strategies and systems that he has developed specifically to help people spread their ideas, products and services around the globe.

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12 thoughts on “Who Your Real Friends Are … Would YOU do this?

  • David Yorka


    Ken McArthur has a new beta site for graphing

    and making great connections that I’m really

    loving. Check out the video and connect with

    me there. I really want you in my network!


    It doesn’t cost a cent and there are some amazing

    people in there. Lots of buzz on this one!


  • David Yorka

    Hi Ken,

    I was messing with Disc and my original post to you did not show up –I am enjoying spreading the word. I got ya –as we say.

    David(take 2)

  • Bill Clemens


    I was one of those people in JV Alert Philly who told you I would help when ever I could and I am holding true to that. I Just blasted out to my Facebook friends, I'll create an event on FB so I can invite even more people. And I send it out to my FB group members as well as my Mailing list. Not to mention I'm posting it on my Blog.


  • Todra Payne

    Well, to be honest, I'm so bogged down with “networking” that I don't think I could type one more word in one more community. But I loved your blog post (very insightful) and my heart sank for that organizer.

    I put the link to Tobri out there on both my Twitter accounts. Hopefully that will help out.

  • RichardRossbauer

    Hello Ken,
    I am sending personal invitations to a few selected friends and more general (but tailored) invitations to subscribers of each of my specialized mailing lists. I know the personal invitations are working best because I recognize these friends as they become members.

    It's difficult to measure the results from the larger mailing lists.

  • drmani

    Ken, I signed up to Tobri (BETA), and am telling my friends about it.

    Your 'empty theater' story reminded me of one told by Dr.Greg Mortenson in “Three Cups of Tea” – which ended with him delivering a lecture to THREE people in a room meant for 300… but one of them made a donation of $10,000. It's never about how MANY, but about WHO.

    Now, some quick feedback about Tobri.com BETA…

    1. Captcha code has some problem. I had to try 3 times before I could 'crack' it!

    2. Profile page – Country… why only 5 by default, and others have to type in? I found it mildly insulting, personally. Maybe others would, too.

    3. Too much email in the beginning. This is a minor issue, but may overwhelm some. I've got FOUR messages just for signing up!

    4. Not intuitively easy how to find new connections. Most similar sites have a 'Members' tab which gives suggestions. Can't find one here except the graphic link widget under “Connections” which only tells me who's already linked to me.

    Hope this helps, Ken.

    All success

    • KenMcArthur

      Hey Dr. Mani,

      Great to see you on Tobri and MANY thanks for your detailed suggestions.

      That's what BETA is all about and I really appreciate your input.

      All of the email settings are entirely configurable by you and there is a Suggest a Friend Application you can add to your VERY customizable home page.

      We definitely need to add countries to the list. Just trying to find the hours in a day to do everything.

      Thanks again for your support.

      All the best,


  • Anonymous

    Last year I went to Chuck’s event now here’s …


    Chuck Mullaney was the creator of what he calls the biggest
    Internet Marketing Event Disaster of 2010.

    How would you like to hear how he turned it into solid gold?

    By the way … I just added Chuck to the SUPER Panel at
    jvAlert Live Orlando, so you can ask him all about it in
    Orlando, but I’d really suggest that you watch this video that
    tells the whole story and what he decided to do about it,.
    just for the lessons you can learn about taking a disaster and
    making it into something with solid value.

    You don’t have to opt-in or anything. Just watch the video
    and see how one person turned a bad experience into a
    great value.


    The video is at the top of a page with a TRUE one-time offer.

    No hype, if you close the page, you don’t get the offer again,
    I tried it … so watch the video all the way through.

    The offer is for a set of 14 professionally produced DVDs.

    I’ve personally never been able to convince people that
    DVDs recorded at my live events are a good investment.

    That’s a real shame, because although NOTHING can
    match the experience of being at a live event, the content
    is pure gold and you can get it at a steal.


    If you can’t get to jvAlert Live Orlando, this is an
    opportunity to grab great current content from world-class


    jvAlert Live Orlando is already over our hotel room block.

    Last count I think we were over 113% over our block.

    But, the hotel still has a few rooms available and you
    can still get them at our discounted rates.


    They are almost sold out and I know I’m going to be
    fielding calls from people trying to get hotel rooms
    nearby when they really should be staying at the event

    If you haven’t reserved your room do it today.


    If you haven’t registered or completed payment
    for the event be sure to register for jvAlert Live
    Orlando while you still can:


    Recent Additions to our SUPER PANEL

    Roger (Wajed) Salam — CEO of The Winners Circle
    Simon Leung — formerly of Google.
    Jane Mark & Phil Basten — founders of Sokule
    Vin Montello — master copywriter
    Chuck Mullaney –SEO expert

    MORE coming soon!
    Already announced:
    Gary Ambrose, Jason Anderson, Michael Angier,
    Alan Bechtold, Nashlah Boyayan, Shahar Boyayan,
    Hollis Carter, Joe Clayton, Lee Collins,
    Paul Counts, Willie Crawford, Glenn Dietzel,
    Ron Dilbert, Andy Duncan, Brian T. Edmondson,
    Ray Edwards, Mike Evans, Carl Galletti,
    Edie Galley, Michael Glaspie, Ross Goldberg,
    John Halpin, Mark Hendricks, Eric Holmlund,
    Shel Horowitz, Michael Humphreys, Bob Jenkins,
    Audrey Kerwood, Sohail Khan, Tony Ladig,
    Walt Laurel, Skye Mangrum, PJ McClure,
    Deb Micek, Daven Michaels, Melanie Milletics,
    Joey Montez, Chris Moos, Cori Padgett,
    Scott Paton, David Perdew, Daniel Perry,
    Susan Preston, David Preston, Laura Roman Lopez,
    Marlon Sanders, Thom Scott, Brad Semp,
    Felicia Slattery, Joey Smith, Frank Sousa,
    Erik Stafford, Howard Tiano, Jeff Wellman,
    Mike Wesely, Jess Kennedy Williams,
    Bob Yeager and more, more, more!

    Please hurry because it may soon be too late to stay
    at the event hotel and that is DEFINITELY where you
    want to be. MUCH easier and that’s where all the
    networking action is going to be.

    Get your room reserved right now at:


    Not much time to get the Early-Bird Special,
    either but don’t wait because we are at 93% of
    capacity already and the promotions from speakers
    and panelists are just beginning.

    I’m really pushing them hard this time, because this
    event is going to be so special.


    Take a look at some of the new speakers and
    panelists I added to the information page.

    KILLER group of amazing people coming to
    this one.

    Hope to see you soon!

    All the best,